One Outlandish Aspiration

This Holiday blog post morphs into one that would fall under the alternate title of “Wacky Dad of a College-Age Daughter.”

Worry not. It has some of the same elements as youth sports – competition, boys, parental pride, stuff you couldn’t make up and, as usual, wackiness.

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With Hilary Clinton ensconced comfortably as Secretary of State and now of an age that probably precludes a White House run.......... and with Sarah Palin, apparently, saying, “No Mas”........ it is once again wide open as to who will be the first woman to ascend to our nation’s highest office.

Now, I’ve been known to get a wee bit carried away when it comes to my children. So, to me, what the above means is that my daughter still has a shot. That’s right, a shot at being the first woman President.

Why am I caught up in such an outlandish aspiration? Well, I’m looking for the ultimate assurance that Meaghan will never be reliant on some laughably unworthy male from her generation for the things that will make her happy in this life. Thus, I choose to harbor the hope and belief that she can become the first woman President.

Hey, it’s not so far-fetched. She’s rolling along with a 3.89 at the University of Richmond (the State of Virginia has produced more Presidents than any other, right?), majoring in business and leadership. She is a precocious, Type A personality with scores of friends and extracurricular activities, including monthly performances with an improv troupe that plays to capacity crowds at the student activities center. She just experienced her sixth trip overseas, this time for a semester of business school in Normandy. She’s in Washington D.C. this summer, interning for the Altria Group and is already being recruited for jobs that would begin one year from now, following graduation. How’s all of that for tracking toward the Presidency?

Thus, even if she does marry some “Whatshisname,” my scenario with Meaghan as President of the United States works pretty well.

I mean, who do you think will wear the pants in that family? Don’t imagine she’ll be doing much cooking for him, do you? Wonder if he would ever have the nerve to ask her where his socks are? And, guess who will be keeping his mouth shut if she happens to be a few minutes late?

It’s an issue. All Dads of college-age daughters will agree. For reasons still unknown to me -- reasons, I'm sure, that you couldn’t make up -- our perfectly-capable, high-achieving daughters are attracted to these irresponsible louts who have zero earning power and priorities that boggle the mind. What do they bring to the table that I do not?

I’m funny. I’m cute. I have a Facebook page – though I’ve kind of plateaued at 41 friends.

So, here I am, hundreds of miles away, playing second fiddle to a bunch of twerps, time with my daughter supply-and-demand precious, even when she's home for a week or so a couple of times a year. And these clowns just keep hanging around, little else to do, semester after semester, for years at a time.

Bottom line, I am her father, yet I am powerless to guarantee the thing that is most important of all - her happiness. But there is hope. The Presidency.

So, sayonara Sarah.

Hasta la vista, Hilary.

Nice try.

With your dual demise, it remains eminently possible for me to envision my history-making daughter in the White House, appropriately in charge, of many things, including her husband, who will have no leverage in the relationship and no influence over her happiness.

What if she loves him, you say? Wouldn’t he then have some influence over her happiness?

Nah. She has already professed her love for me.

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