Don't Mean To Get Down on Dads, But...

The thing about youth sports Dad Coaches is that they have the same insecurities as their wives and the other women they laugh at all the time.

Believe me. Men are always yukking it up with one another about the way the women are wired. The joke is that the girls worry so much about being judged by other moms that their behavior is calculated to avoid the potential negative comments that could come with the (imagined?) scrutiny of their peers.

Men will deny it, but we are the same way. The Dad Coaches agonize about gaining the respect of the other coaches and, most importantly, the Dads of his players, aka the Dad Coach Critics. The Coach agonizes about the other Dads questioning whether or not he has any idea what he's doing. And well he should. Because they are.

I'm laughing to (at) myself right now, because I've been on both sides of that equation.

Here's the big question - Did we win?

• Coach - "We've got to try to win, right? My kids and their parents all want to go home happy with the W, right? Me, too. But, the other coach and players are trying to take our heads off. Kids on the other team have been together since second grade and the coach played in college. If we don't win, the other Dads are going to have a field day criticizing my substitution pattern. Hey, wait a minute! That other coach is talking to the ref/ump. Man, it's probably his neighbor. How'm I supposed to compete with that? Is that kid gonna tell his Dad that my timeout huddle was disorganized? Oh, no - I'm outta timeouts. This is embarrassing. I know. If we lose, I'll tell the kids it was my fault because we ran out of timeouts. That'll be noble and then the Dads won't criticize me. Whew!"

• Dad Coach Critics - "Does this guy know anything about (baseball/softball/soccer/football/basketball/hockey/other)? Does he know anything about anything? Doesn't he realize Billy/Johnny/Julie/Katie needs to play (insert position) to be effective? His kid stinks - let's get that straight. Hey, I'm not sure if my kid's playing as much as his kid. My Billy had better be in at the end of the game. If we lose, I'm gonna say something. There's no reason for us to lose this game. Hey, the other coach is talking to the ref/ump. We've got to do that, too. I mean, that's the coach's job. You've gotta work the officials, right? Even my wife knows that. Why'd he volunteer if he didn't want to do what it takes? We paid $90 to be on this team. I'd like to win a couple of games. That too much to ask? Oh, no! Tell me he didn't just run out of timeouts. Yep. He did. And I'm supposed to not say anything. I hope he doesn't think taking the blame for the loss gets him off the hook."

Thank God for the kids and the games. Otherwise, what would we do with ourselves?

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